There appears to be a rather popular trend out there of people making trite little cards which start with ‘You know you’re a writer then…’ and then finishing with some pithy little statement which no doubt makes the kind of people who approve of such things titter in amusement, probably while coyly covering their giggles with a delicate hand.

Whenever I see these, I either want to cringe or vomit, but rarely bother responding, because we all know it’ll just end up in a reference to Nazis (was that some kind of pre-emptive Godwin’s law?).

However, I thought I’d take to the time to list a few of the biggest humdinders here, and explain while they’re such a pile of tripe (and I have a dog, so I know how stinky tripe is):

You know you’re a writer when…

…deleting whole paragraphs of your manuscript is the emotional equivalent of stabbing yourself in the chest repeatedly.

Quote the opposite. The less you have written, the more attached you are to each word, and the harder it is to cut the waffle. The less experienced you are, the better you think your writing is, and the more precious you are about it. Deleting a whole paragraph? Give me a break. You should be doing that to warm up. The sign of a seasoned writer is one who can cut an entire chapter, nay, half a book, and just shrug.

You know you’re a writer when…

…You absolutely can’t write anything down unless it’s with that pen,  no matter how good the idea is.

Clear sign of a non-writer, becoming obsessed with irrelevant details when there are far too many important things to remember, including: fleeting ideas, the exact colour and texture of the leaves that carpet the forest floor at the beginning of November, birthdays of an entire cast of characters, whether you’ve already mentioned the knife sheath pattern, time of day for each scene, character motivations, what makes a character stand out, twists etc. etc. etc. If you’ve got time to spend worrying about which pen to use, you probably don’t have the brainpower to write a novel.

What this is actually a sign of, is obsessive compulsive disorder, which – while possibly a common symptom of writers, does not actually signify one.

And why on earth would anybody be using a pen to write? This isn’t the middle ages.

You know you’re a writer when…

… you remember the backstory of all your characters, but you’ve yet to write down a single one.

The clues are all there in this one, if you think about it. What this person is, is a daydreamer. To be a writer, you have to write things down. It’s not rocket science.

So, now that I’ve laid into example of what a writer clearly is not, perhaps you’d like my view on how you really can tell if you’re a writer?

It’s very simple. You’re writing.

We've put together this short video which explains The Novel Formula method for writing a novel all the way through planning, plotting, editing and submitting your novel.
You can read in much more detail about of the steps of the Novel Formula on our main website here, or an overview on this blog here.

But for now just sit back, relax and watch the video!

As you may know, this blog is written by the creators of the Novel Factory novel writing software, and shares a lot of the knowledge with that programme. The Novel Factory has been our baby for several years now, as we've worked on the formula, integrated a load of teaching knowledge, put together the guide and developed the software that brings it all together.

 

We launched recently, and already have had some really fantastic feedback. We're usually not ones to blow our own trumpets, but we're so chuffed with some of the comments we've had, because it feels like we're really achieving our aim of creating genuinely useful software for novelists, that we'd like to share some of the things we've heard.

If you haven't tried the software yet, you should know it's completely free for 30 days, so why not give it a go? You've got nothing to lose, and everything to gain.

"I have achieved more in the past two months than in the previous two years, using your program and would recommend it to anyone."

"It is a worthwhile program that would work for a beginning writer as well as a more seasoned professional. Well done!"

“I love how the scenes are linked to the characters. That feature of being able to go through and really think about and record what each character is doing at any given moment is wonderful!”

“I really liked the way it broke down the writing process and got me thinking about each section of my story. I tend to rush in with the start and know my end but don't put any thought into how to get there. I like having to write a synopsis of each section.” 

The Novel Factory Roadmap

When I first learned about The Question, I felt like I'd just been given the keys to the City.

After the Hero's Journey, The Question is probably the most useful tool in the fiction writer's repertoire, and is especially useful for beginning writers, who need a bit more of a formula or roadmap to get them going. Obviously, once you have a firm grasp on how to write a good plot arc, you can deviate more and more from the standard structures and interpret the 'rules' in new and imaginative ways.

But having a starting point, a few rules of thumb to get you going, are invaluable. If you don't know what the Hero's Journey is, then find out, right now. If you do, then it's time to meet The Question.

This article is a short summary of The Question. For the full article, with examples, go here.

What is The Question?

The Question is a moral dilemma that you put to your protagonist somewhere towards the end of the story. By forcing them to make a difficult decision, you put your readers on a knife-edge of 'Will she? Won't she?', as they wonder if the character they've come to know and love (or hate) is made of strong enough stuff.

Can it be any question?

Not really, no. The Question should have two options. If they choose one option (often presented by the villain), then they will have everything they ever dreamed of - riches, love, power, etc. But if they choose the alternative option, they will lose everything and probably be killed or at least thoroughly maimed and shamed.

So, what's the problem? Just choose the good option, right?

Well, to make the ending more thrilling, your job as a writer is to set up the question so that the only way the protagonist can choose option one is betray their principles, probably of honesty or loyalty or something similar. Whereas, if they want to 'do the right thing' that means choosing option two.

So, will you focal character prove their mettle and rightousness even though it means losing everything they've worked for? Or will they give in to the temptation of desire and fold, allowing the baddie to triumph?

The consequences

You can have your protagonist choose either option - there's no law saying they have to do the right thing - though in the majority of modern fiction, this is what happens. However, if you want the story to be satisfying, then you have to make sure the consequences match the choice. This is fiction remember, not real life, and we like good to be rewarded and bad to be punished.

So, whatever decision your hero makes, something unexpected must happen to make sure everything is turned upside down. So if they made the right decision, they triumph, and if they made the wrong decision they get their just desserts.

Click here to read the full article about The Question, including examples, and find out why the reward does not have to be what the protagonist thought it was.